Microwave Ovens Are NOT Spying, Kellyanne!
Current Events –
Microwave Ovens Are
NOT Spying, Kellyanne!
If you happen to follow the musings of senior White House adviser Kellyanne Conway, you may be feeling a bit paranoid today about your microwave oven, electric can opener, or even 4-slice toaster. However, despite what Kellyanne Conway says, rest assured that your kitchen devices are NOT spying on you!
We all knew that Donald Trump’s former campaign manager and current right-hand gal was about 98¢ short of a dollar, however, no one knew she was this far out into the galaxy.
In a Sunday interview with the Bergen County Record regarding Trump’s recent unsubstantiated claim that Barack Obama “had my wires tapped,” Kellyanne backed up her boss’s assertion by declaring that microwaves can turn into spy cameras for surveillance.
“What I can say is there are many ways to surveil each other now, unfortunately,” Conway exclaimed. “There was an article this week that talked about how you can surveil someone through their phones — certainly through their television sets, any number of different ways. And microwaves that turn into cameras, et cetera.”
Um…no, Kellyanne. What you said is pretty much impossible.
Although a variety of listening devices do indeed exist and Internet-connected devices can, in fact, be hacked, a microwave oven is just not an effective spy tool.
Yes, microwaves (waves being the operative word) can be used for certain types of imaging, such as radar, however, a microwave oven can not be used as a camera. A microwave oven does not have an image sensor or film with which to capture light, making it incapable of taking pictures unless it literally has an outward-facing camera onboard. To date, microwaves such as this just don’t exist.
When asked if a microwave oven could be turned into a spy tool, Stephen Frasier, a microwave imaging and radar researcher at the University of Massachusetts-Amherst, could not stop laughing at the very suggestion.
“Unless it’s a voice-activated microwave oven connected to the internet I can’t think of a way,” Frasier said through chuckles.
How do you stop your Microwave from taking selfies and posting them on Snap Chat? #KellyanneConway
— John Hergt (@natureofthings7) March 13, 2017
Because “Cook on High for 2-3 Minutes” is Pop Secret Information #KellyanneConway
— Robert Quinn (@trumanquinn) March 13, 2017
The #BowlingGreenMassacre could of been prevented if the perpetrators had a microwave. #KellyAnneConway
— Dave Barabas (@Dave_Barabas) March 13, 2017
I thought the whole microwaves spying on us was bunk till I caught my stove & microwave battling it out this morning… pic.twitter.com/NzzdsVBW3X
— The Anti-Trump (@IMPL0RABLE) March 13, 2017
The tale of Kellyanne’s microwave oven spying conspiracy has since gone viral, prompting a vicious social media to eat her alive over her (yet again) outlandish beliefs. However, by Monday afternoon, the embarrassed Trump adviser attempted to clean up her remarks to no avail.
“I’m not Inspector Gadget. I don’t believe people are using the microwave to spy on the Trump campaign,” she told CNN. “However, I’m not in the job of having evidence, that’s what investigations are for.”
Sorry, Kellyanne, but no one will be investigating your fairy tale thoughts. Only you and your loony-tunes boss (Donald Trump) are looking inside the dishwasher or the coffee maker in search of Barack Obama spying on you!