FACEBOOK APOLOGIZES… Sort Of

How do you say “I’M SORRY” without really saying “I’M SORRY”?

Just ask Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg.  In light of a tidal wave of recent bad press, Zuckerberg was forced to apologize for Facebook’s unbelievably carefree attitude regarding your privacy, with promises that better privacy controls are imminently on the way. “Our intention was to give you lots of granular controls; but that may not have been what many of you wanted. We just missed the mark,” Zuckerberg said. “In the coming weeks, we will add privacy controls that are much simpler to use. We will also give you an easy way to turn off all third-party services.”

Since the founding of Facebook in 2004, then 19-year-old Zuckerberg never gave a rat’s ass regarding privacy.  To him, privacy was dead, non-existent and not something most people thought or even cared about.  Boy, was he wrong!  Not only do people still care greatly about their own privacy, but many on Facebook were preparing to put their money where their mouth is and cancel their accounts this coming Monday in protest to Facebook’s unpopular privacy principles.  Facebook received a $200. million US dollar investment last year from a pair of Russian billionaires, who reportedly forced Zuckerberg’s hand when it appeared their investment could take a hit and people might actually leave.  And so the powers that be at Facebook convened for a privacy restructuring meeting last week, while Zuckerberg took to the Washington Post with a pseudo “apology” and an outline for how the company plans to handle your privacy in the future.

You can read Zuckerberg’s full statement by clicking HERE.  And if you can make it past this most entertaining “heal-the-world” part with a straight face, you’re good:

“If we give people control over what they share, they will want to share more. If people share more, the world will become more open and connected. And a world that’s more open and connected is a better world.”