IS MARRIAGE DEAD?

Once upon a time, if you wanted to be sexually active or raise a family, you had to be married first. Period. But now… eh, not so much.

According to a new Pew Research Center/Time Magazine survey, age, income, social status, and education have all altered our thinking on whether we should bother heading for the altar in the 21st century. Which poses an interesting question:  is marriage dead?

It may not be dead, but the growing wave is that marriage is not as respected as it once was, and it may soon very well be on life support.

This stunning flip of opinion is easily distinguished by an ever widening generational gap. At one point in history, if a man and woman wanted to live/sleep together, getting married first was a non-negotiable requirement.  Or if a woman became pregnant out of wedlock, she was “sent away” to quietly give birth in private and avoid public embarrassment. But now, many highly successful and educated adults are choosing to live together, make babies, even adopt children — all without first having to say “I Do!”

In the 20th Century, older couples initially married for moral and spiritual reasons, for stability, and for permission to be intimate with their partner. These same couples often stayed together over the years out of companionship, because of children and grandchildren, for the ease of sharing expenses, and to care for each other in their later years during medical hardships. But these days, most younger couples operate from a completely different set of rules.

Surprisingly, most younger women surveyed said they wanted to get married out of “tradition,” or to fulfill a childhood wish of feeling like a princess and having the wedding of their dreams.  Or in other words, they wanted the magic of the wedding day, but may not have given much thought to the actual MARRIAGE that followed.

On the other hand, most younger men surveyed said they only considered marriage due to constant pressure from parents (who wanted grandchildren), co-workers, or their girlfriends, but that it was not really something at the top of their list of priorities.  They pointed out that in these modern times, they could have all the perks of marriage (living together, sexual activity, having children, etc.) without first having to make a long term commitment. These same men pointed out variety as a factor, and the undesirable thought of being tied down to one woman for the next 50+ years. Men were also fearful of divorce and of a woman ruining them financially following a potentially failed marriage.

These findings pointed out that, although people do still get married, they often do so for extremely different reasons.  For as many young people might choose to lease rather than invest in buying a home, they are discovering they can have all the identical perks of marriage (lease), without first having to make a long term commitment (buying).

Marriages lasting longer than 10 years are becoming nearly extinct, while the divorce rate is increasingly on the rise. So, is the thought of being with one person exclusively “till death do us part” still a legitimate reality? Or is it an old and outdated concept that we keep fooling ourselves into believing still has a place in modern society?