Dear Residents of Texas: Congratulations! As a surprise Memorial Day gift to Donald Trump, you are now the proud recipients of a private border wall to keep those grimy Mexicans out of your state.
Current Events
Yes, thanks to former Trump political strategist Steve Bannon, a private border wall was hastily erected over the holiday weekend just outside of El Paso. Bannon joined forces with Trump supporter and triple-amputee Air Force vet Brian Kolfage, who raised $20 million dollars for the wall via a GoFundMe page. Their union produced a mile-long wall of metal slats along a once pristine mountain range.
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According to Bannon, he and his ‘private border wall’ group dba WE BUILD THE WALL asked local authorities to point out the most dangerous and precarious portion of the border with Mexico. Bannon said they were directed to a mountain strip “where the cartels and asylum seekers are coming in” through a gap between two 21-mile strips of completed wall. Bannon and his partners immediately “purchased the rights” to the land and went right to work on Friday evening.
“We had to catch them by surprise,” Bannon said, predicting that residents would “freak out” once they realized what was erected over the Memorial Day weekend.
“Border Patrol told us it’s the No. 1 most important miles to close. The tough terrain always left it off the government list,” Bannon said. “And that’s what we focus on — private land that is not in the program and takes the toughest first.”
“Buckle up, we’re just getting started!” WE BUILD THE WALL wrote in a Facebook post along with images of construction over the weekend.
Just getting started is an understatement.
The private border wall only stretches 1 mile, which is but a mere inconvenience for those who may have walked hundreds of miles just to cross into the US. Or, in other words, no one is going to make the dangerous trek from Honduras only to run into this new wall and simply turn around and go back home. They’ll choose instead to go over it, under it, or, very easily around it.
Still, seeing their 1-mile long private border wall built was somehow a moment of victory for the WE BUILD THE WALL people.
“All the haters said it was impossible!!” Brian Kolfage wrote on Twitter. “Bahaha where ya at now?”
Hahaha oh brother that picture is worth a thousand words. They build a wall that is only one mile long. Then the wall ends. So everybody can just walk one more mile and go around it and they think spending all those millions of dollars to build it was a good idea?? This is comedy. Nobody can be that stupid but they are.