Do gay/straight labels legitimately matter? Or is sexuality fluid and on a spectrum?
Lifestyle :
Recent studies have discovered that many straight-identifying men acknowledge feeling a secret attraction toward other men. Some of these men act on their attractions, while others swallow their feelings and keep them to themselves. Interestingly, a man recently went online to admit that he sleeps with men at least once or twice a week but still considers himself “straight” — an idea that has turned the traditional concept of sexuality topsy-turvy.
“What’s happening to me?” a 23-year-old straight-identifying man asked. “I have dirty thoughts about my bisexual male friend and want to hook up with him,” he said.
Does this guy need to wake up and smell the gay coffee, or is it possible we’ve all completely misunderstood sexuality?
In the subReddit forum “TrueOffMyChest,” users asked the question: Can a guy still be “straight” if he sleeps with other men?
“It began as a way to break a ‘dry spell,’ but quickly escalated to more,” the man who now has regular weekly sex with other men said. “I just wanted to have sex,” he wrote. “So I went on Tinder and changed my preference to dudes.” Before long, he had matched with several men and “found a dude that I felt comfortable meeting.”
Although it was awkward at first, he said it quickly became something he was really into.
“It felt like I was losing my virginity all over again because it was all new to me and I had no idea what I was doing,” he said, “but I enjoyed it a lot.” The experience “started a trend of me having sex with dudes,” and soon it became a regular occurrence.
The man added that he’s not emotionally attracted to any of the men, still prefers women, and still considers himself straight. He simply enjoys an occasional sexual encounter with other men.
Commenters were quick to point out that the man is obviously gay but clearly in denial.
“I don’t think you’re straight…” one Redditor wrote. “I hate to break it to you but I’m pretty sure banging dudes makes you gay.” Another user cracked, “Nope… I’ve never gone through a dry spell and thought I’d love to f*ck a guy,” but added, “as long as you are happy and safe… That’s all that matters.”
However, others challenged that theory by contemplating what actually makes someone “gay” or “straight.”
For example, someone could enjoy attending a Catholic Church without actually “being” Catholic. A person could eat vegetables all week without actually committing to being a vegetarian.
So, what do we call someone who considers themselves “straight” but also sometimes sleeps with their same gender?
Perhaps it’s best we just don’t label them at all.
According to a 2019 study, 40% of heterosexual people surveyed said they could see themselves being attracted to the same sex if the right person came along. Another 25% said same-sex attraction was “unlikely” but they wouldn’t rule it out, while another 10% said “maybe.” However, of all the straight people surveyed, only 4% — just 4 people out of 100 — said that same-sex attraction was an absolute impossibility for them.
So, what’s really going on here?
A person’s sexual orientation is circumstantially fluid over a lifetime, and labels are descriptive, not prescriptive. Labels do not necessarily predict someone’s life and sexual behaviors can change over time. For example, someone can identify as gay without ever having sex with a man.
Because we all have both a mother and a father, we are all both male and female (with the one gender we usually live with being the more dominant one). We also all have an X chromosome. So, it makes sense that our hormones are constantly in flux.
Granted, some people may choose to exclusively identify as “straight” or “gay,” and that is a personal choice and totally up to them. Others may actually be gay but fearful of the label (and the negative connotations society has placed on the term) and prefer that others think of them as straight. Again, totally up to them.
However, the truth is that we are all wired to feel an attraction to both males and females. We may never act on that attraction or even acknowledge it, but the feelings and the possibilities are there.
Maybe it’s time to eradicate the terms “gay,” “straight,” “bisexual,” and others and just think of ourselves and others as “sexual.”
WATCH BILL NYE “The Science Guy” DISCUSS THE SEXUALITY SPECTRUM
OK WASSUP! discusses Lifestyle News:
Are sexuality labels really necessary?
Okay….admittedly I read most (not all) of DJ’s post because Bisexuals (the very messy lives they tend to live and endless LIES they tend to tell themselves and everybody else) makes me angry!
Claiming to be a “Heterosexual” man (or woman) because you sleep with the opposite sex – while also fantasizing about hooking up with the same sex, if not actually having sex with the same sex – is a person who is either very confused and/or very deceptive!