SHEEN’S KORNER

BREAKING NEWS: Warner Bros. Television has now fired actor Charlie Sheen from the sitcom “Two and a Half Men.”

Have you ever come across a terrible car accident and knew you should look away, except you just couldn’t help but stare?

Such is the case and the life of Charlie Sheen, who has been such a train wreck of late, that he now holds the Guiness Book of World Records honor of reaching one million Twitter followers faster than anyone ever.  Or in other words, more than a million people can’t help but watch him self-destruct.

For a while now, Charlie Sheen has been a loaded gasoline can inside a burning building — he could blow at any time.  We’ve watched him on the ABC and NBC morning shows.  We’ve watched him on the cable networks. We’ve even seen him become the lead butt of jokes in late night television.  But now, even Charlie Sheen has outdone himself.

On Saturday night, Sheen took to the Internet with a live WebCast of himself and his friends entitled “Sheen’s Korner.”  Saying “YOU’RE EITHER IN SHEEN’S KORNER OR WITH THE TROLLS,” this wild exercise in futility was a night of odd verbal ramblings and fart jokes, that even the 100,000 viewers who initially tuned in, quickly lost interest in.  Although Sheen set out to “explain” himself to the masses, he failed miserably in any attempt to make us understand him.  Which only proves that his attorney’s and PR reps who quit, really knew what they were doing.

So for as much fun as it is to point fingers and make fun of Charlie Sheen, the brutal truth is this guy needs help BADLY, plain and simple. Because in all honesty, we are watching someone die slowly, right before our very eyes.