The TLC network has a new television show called “Best Funeral Ever,” which should probably be renamed “Worst Television Show Ever!”
The Golden Gate Funeral Home of Dallas, TX is the location for this morbidly ridiculous show. Owner John Beckwith, Jr. encourages his staff to plan what he considers “extraordinary” funeral celebrations for deceased customers — and this is where it all goes to hell!
Not only is the funeral staff an incapable motley crew of misfits who couldn’t plan a toddlers birthday party, but their tasteless choices for a final going away ceremony have sunk the TLC network to a brand new low.
In the first episode, Golden Gate planned a funeral service for Willie McCoy, who happened to be the jingle singer for the “Chili’s Baby Back Ribs” commercial. Their idea of the “Best Funeral Ever” was to place the corpse inside an extended barbecue pit, complete with smoke stack, while Pallbearers donning chef’s hats and aprons carried him down the aisle. Barbecued ribs were served on picnic tables, while champagne fountains unsuccessfully gurgled barbecue sauce from its spouts. Live pigs ran throughout the chapel uncontrollably and disrupted the service as funeral planners were forced to chase them down. Hmmm…
In another segment, Golden Gate planned the funeral of Jerry Bagley, a 60-year-old man who lived with spina bifida all of his life. According to his family, Jerry always loved the State Fair but could never enjoy any of the rides due to his handicap. Golden Gate’s idea of the “Best Funeral Ever” was to cremate Jerry, then take the urn of his remains on the roller coaster and bumper cars, as State Fair attendees looked on in amazement and confusion. The final “tribute” was to place Jerry’s urn in the center of the hoop toss game and allow a family member to toss a hoop over the urn for a prize. Ugg!
In case anyone forgot, the TLC Network is actually The Learning Channel. But with shows like “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo” and now the unbelievably tacky “Best Funeral Ever,” it looks like TLC has taken buffoonery to a whole new level and has a whole lot to learn!
THANK GOD IT’S FRIDAY!
