During his planned July 4th ‘Trump Salute’ featuring America’s military might, Donald Trump wanted to appear as the doting dictator and King of the United States. Too bad for him Mother Nature chose to rain on his parade.
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Traditionally, Washington, DC hosts a July 4th celebration complete with fireworks over the national mall and a concert featuring celebrities accompanied by various branches of the US military. However, that decades-long tradition just wasn’t good enough for King Trump, who was jealous of seeing North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un and others practically worshipped via elaborate displays of their military arsenals.
And so, the Trump Salute was born.
The evening began with military tanks rolling through the streets of DC, a flyover of Air Force jets, and a “Rah Rah, Go America” speech by King Trump himself supposedly meant to instill American pride. However, Mother Nature recognized that the event was actually a self-aggrandizing moment Trump hoped to eventually use in a reelection campaign commercial — so she brought a few fireworks of her own in the form of thunder, lightning, and torrential rains that closed the National Mall at one point.
And then, the infamous Trump “airport” speech began.
While apparently reciting his own version of American history, King Trump detoured into a mashup of war and centuries and segued from the Revolutionary War to modern times then back to the War of 1812 again.
“It took over the airports. It did everything it had to do. And at Fort McHenry, under the rockets’ red glare, it had nothing but victory. And when dawn came, their star-spangled banner waved defiant.” – Donald J. Trump
“The Continental Army suffered a bitter winter of Valley Forge, found glory across the waters of the Delaware and seized victory from Cornwallis of Yorktown,” he began. “It took over the airports. It did everything it had to do. And at Fort McHenry, under the rockets’ red glare, it had nothing but victory. And when dawn came, their star-spangled banner waved defiant.”
THE AIRPORTS???
Realizing he may have failed miserably on the national stage during his own Trump Salute, King Trump attempted to save face by claiming the rains blurred his teleprompter and forced him to misspeak. However, even while reading prepared remarks, anyone with an ounce of sense would stop themselves from mentioning an airport during a speech about America’s independence in 1776.
Needless to say, his flimsy attempt at an explanation didn’t stop a ton of jokes at Trump’s expense.
The New York Times mocked King Trump with an article entitled, “The Redcoats Are In A Holding Pattern Over LaGuardia (Airport).” However, it was journalists working for Russia’s state-run news media who took the most pot-shots at the Trump spectacle.
Calling the Trump Salute “low energy” and “weak,” Russian news channel Rossiya 24 mocked the military equipment that was on display as laughably out of date and claimed the machinery was held together with “adhesive tape” and covered with “peeling paint.” A co-host added that the tanks on display were “used during World War II and withdrawn from service in 1957.”
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Russia’s state TV is obsessively bashing Trump’s “low energy,” “weak” parade with “rusty tanks.” The hosts LOL at Trump’s claim about “revolutionary war airports” & other historical flubs. “There’s your city upon a hill, there’s your world leader—and Martians have been defeated.” pic.twitter.com/wiw2OcFCLN
— Julia Davis (@JuliaDavisNews) July 5, 2019
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Instead of being seen as the powerful American leader he so desperately hoped to be, Donald Trump was mocked and laughed at on the world stage.
“Trump should have asked our Defense Ministry to teach them how to organize military parades,” the Russian news media scoffed.
All in all, the cost of the Trump Salute was so high into the millions that The White House has refused to tell taxpayers the final tally. However, The Washington Post put it into perspective by divulging that a single Air Force flyover costs taxpayers $560,000. Hmmm…
In the end, the Trump Salute was nothing like Donald Trump hoped it would be. He didn’t get to look commanding and appear presidential. His flub about airports didn’t make him look smart. He got rained on. And, the world is still laughing at him.
Needless to say, let’s hope this July 4th Donald Trump Salute was the first and last!
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(Sigh.!) History will not be kind to Us who allowed such a grotesque thing as this presidency to ever happen in the first place. All hail king donnie….smh.