This June, New York City and countless cities throughout the country celebrate Gay Pride. Parade floats carrying men dressed as Cher and Beyonce’ look-alikes don the streets of New York’s Greenwich Village, prompting cat-calls and hoots and hollers from the masculine and effeminate crowd while prompting the question: Â Is the Gay Image flawed?
Lifestyle
Gay men and women in America have long sought equality and acceptance from their peers in the heterosexual world. The past few years have provided historic strides in the passage of same-sex marriage in all 50 states, among other victories. Despite these great advances, there is still a marketing issue within the gay community that has fueled intolerance. With gays coming in all flavors and doctrines, since when did clownish femininity become the face of homosexuality?
Is gay pride only a make-believe contest to judge how womanly a man can be? Is the annual gay pride celebration merely a permission slip for men to dress up in Halloween-like drag costumes and saunter through the streets with effeminate prowess? Or is gay pride something much deeper than that — a chance to celebrate advances in marriage equality and an opportunity to encourage society to embrace tolerance?
Most people who oppose homosexuality do so out of fear or lack of knowledge. They may not know any gay people personally, so their only knowledge of what being gay means is often based upon images they see via the television. However, for someone turning on the TV and seeing a gay pride parade or event for the first time, they likely won’t see a group of gays presenting themselves in a respectfully palatable manner, showing how they should be perceived as valuable and productive members of a community. NO! In perhaps 99.9% of the cases, from an unknowledgeable person’s perspective, they would be met with a sea of tall, garish drag queens wearing over the top wigs, gowns, and clown white makeup, as well as scantily clad effeminate males gyrating on each other, in what some could easily construe as a virtual Sodom and Gomorrah. For those of us who are smart, we recognize this is not the true image of all gay people. Yet for those who are not in the know and can only rely on what they see, hear, and are told, this is the image they are presented with — and it scares them, it makes them withdraw, and it makes them not accept.
Lifestyle
Somewhere along the way, the gay image has become synonymous with being a tactless clown. Yet that could not be farther from the truth. Granted, there are some gay people who are as tactless and clownish as can be. However, there are also many, many more who are very far from it, which suggests the gay image is probably poorly constructed and deeply misconstrued. Is a collective epidemic of national ignorance the true cause of this sustained non-acceptance? Or are gays themselves largely responsible for their own flawed image and lack of wider acceptance?
When an unknowledgeable parent hears their child say “Mom, Dad, I’m gay, and I want you to accept that” what the parents are probably hearing in their heads is “Mom, Dad, I’m about to become one of those garish wig/stiletto-wearing freakish drag queens you see on T.V. and I want you to accept that.” However, how many parents and families are realistically going to do so? Probably not many. So, how did the clownish, effeminate side of homosexuality become THE face of homosexuality? Does anyone within the gay community actually expect a majority of society to fully embrace and accept a group represented by a 6’5″ and 250 pound Carol Channing look-a-like with a beard? Or is it time gays got smart, rethought and redesigned their image, then challenged society at large not to accept their more realistic presentation?
Society has frequently misunderstood large groups of people. For example, African-Americans have long been considered violent thieves and welfare addicts. Hispanics have often been called border jumping baby factories. Muslims have been seen as terrorists who are always out to get Americans. These stereotypes are ignorant and do not accurately represent these groups as a whole. In fact, African-Americans, Hispanics, Muslims, and others have gone to great lengths over the years to eradicate such negative imagery and opinion, providing more positive images to fix and replace years of negative ones. Why then is the gay community light years behind in fixing and eradicating their own stereotypes?
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Lifestyle
The gay image and, to a greater degree, gay pride should be much more than just being a man dressed in drag, or being effeminate or as outlandish and bizarre as possible. Being gay means being committed spouses, loving parents, responsible workers, and productive and respected members of a community — just as it means for heterosexuals. It really is possible for handsome, intelligent, successful, committed, and responsible men to trump the concept of being effeminate, outlandish, and promiscuous.
If gays truly want greater acceptance, wouldn’t they be smart to stop pointing fingers, stop redirecting blame, and start taking responsibility for their own perception problems? Is the gay image flawed?
Wow. Great post DJ. And, IMO, a much needed discussion to have.
Okay…so you asked:
"Is a collective epidemic of national ignorance the true cause of this sustained non-acceptance?"
No. I don't think so.
"Or are gays themselves largely responsible for their own flawed image and lack of wider acceptance?"
BINGO!
"Why then is the gay community light years behind in fixing and eradicating their own stereotypes?"
DJ, are you primarily referring to the outlandish behaviors displayed by far too many gay men? (I noticed that your post mainly focused on gay men). Or is your question referring to both gay men AND gay women?